The Holy Marriage of Paul Macduff & Alexis Melcher
Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Kennewick, Washington
June 27, 2026
Text: John 2:1-11
Mary knows a thing or two about marriage. She gives the very best advice. In the face of utter disaster (I mean, the wine vats have run dry!), she points to her Son, and tells the servants… and the couple… and us… “Do whatever he tells you” (John 2:5; ESV).
Write that one down. You want the recipe for a successful marriage? A faithful life together? Mary is giving it out today. Fix your eyes… and your ears… on Jesus. And “Do whatever he tells you.”
But there is something even prior to that. In order for eyes and ears to be on Jesus, He has to be present, and speaking. The most important thing that happened for the couple in Cana that day… even more important than the water into wine… even more profound than Mary’s advice to “Do whatever he tells you”... is that Jesus was there, at the wedding. The presence of the Son of God made flesh. You want that, too, Paul and Alexis. You want Jesus to be here, now, at your wedding. That is why you are having it at Church. People get this screwed up all the time. They think they want a Church wedding, because it’s part of the aesthetic. They rarely darken a Church door, otherwise, and they have no plans, really, of coming back. And it isn’t about Jesus, for them. That’s not why they chose the Church. It’s about how beautiful the bride will look, framed by the trappings of tradition. And so, we have wedding chapels that can fill that need, without all this bother about our Lord’s pesky presence, and this advice to do whatever He tells us to do.
That’s not you, though. You’re here in the Church, because you want Jesus to be present, not only here, at the beginning of your life together, but for the rest of your life, and in every facet of your life. Doing what He does here for the couple in Cana. Saving. Rescuing. Turning water into wine. Which is to say, sadness into joy. Catastrophe into eucatastrophe. The old ever new. You want His presence to pronounce His Word of blessing over your marriage. To keep it. To care for it. Continually. In every circumstance.
So the Church, the place of His presence in His means of grace, His Word, and His Sacraments, will be the central location of your life together as husband and wife, and as family. And what He gives you here, you’ll take with you into your home, as you make His Word the daily centerpiece of your life, building one another up in His Word, and raising your children (if God so blesses you) in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). And you’ll take it out into the world, in your life and vocation, as you bear witness to Him.
That is the number one component in the recipe for a successful marriage. The presence of the Lord Jesus. Forgiving your sins. Loving you. Providing for you. Rescuing you. And then, the second component: Mary’s advice, “Do whatever he tells you.” That is, order your life according to His Word. Live by it. It will not fail you. It is always what is best. Even when you think it’s not, and you want to do something different. Don’t. Always do what He says.
My sister is very wise. She, too, knows a thing or two about marriage. She was once asked by a couple just starting out, what is the secret to a good marriage? You know the first thing she said? Center your marriage on Jesus. That is exactly right. His presence, and His Word. That is the only thing that will get you through good times and bad. Yes. That’s it. Then, she had two other pieces of advice, which I thought were pretty good, so I’ll share them with you. (These two flow from the first point, okay?) Make your spouse your best friend. She and her husband just love to be together. You know, that’s a choice they made. If you want to enjoy being together, you have to decide to do it. Be the kind of person your spouse loves to be around. And always be forgiving your spouse, and overlooking their flaws, and covering over their weaknesses with love (“Love covers a multitude of sins,” Peter says [1 Peter 4:8]). Just like you do in any good friendship. And then, third, my sister said (and this is really downstream from the first point, but it is good, and it is wise), she and her husband always have something they’re looking forward to together. Whether something grand, like an upcoming trip, or more often, something small… maybe even mundane… but, special to them, like sipping a glass of wine together on the deck when the day is done. Jesus still turns water into wine, doesn’t He?
Look at the gift Jesus is giving you today. The gift of one another. Never forget that your spouse is a gift. You will often be tempted to take the other for granted. There will even be times, believe it or not, when you will be tempted to resent, or even despise, the other. When that temptation, that messenger of Satan, rears its ugly head, do two things immediately: 1. Repent and believe the Gospel. You’re not always easy to live with, either, but Jesus loves you, and died for your sins, and continually puts up with you, and covers over everything with His blood. So give your spouse a little grace. And 2. Foster gratitude for your spouse. You know how you do that? Thank God for him. Thank God for her. Say it. Out loud. Your feelings will catch up. When you feel least thankful, that’s especially when you should give thanks. And then, here is a bonus third thing to do. Pray for him. Pray for her. In fact, do all three of those things daily.
That is ordering your life according to His Word. Doing whatever He says to you… He, who is present with and for you, for your forgiveness, life, and salvation, and to give you unending joy.
You know, He is the true Bridegroom. And you, members of His beloved, blood-bought Bride, the Church. In your marriage, you get to model that. Your marriage is an icon of Christ and the Church. That’s what St. Paul tell us (Eph. 5). You, Paul, loving your wife and giving yourself for her. Into death, if necessary. That you may present her to yourself… see her, regard her… in splendor, without spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, holy, and without blemish. And you, Alexis, submitting to that (the loving and the giving). Which is to say, receiving that from Paul. Paul leading in that. Alexis holding him up to that. And so, by your sacrifices, Paul modeling Christ. Alexis modeling the Church. It is a proclamation of the Gospel to all who know you as a couple.
You can only do that if Christ is present. In your marriage. In your life. And He is. For you. “Do whatever he tells you.” Live in Him. Love in Him. Forgive in Him. Be forgiven by Him. Good advice. And in it, your marriage is blessed. By the Lord Jesus, here and now. And for as many years as God gives you. What God is here joining together, let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9). In the Name of the Father, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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