Twentieth Sunday after Pentecost

Twentieth Sunday after Pentecost (Proper 22 B)

October 6, 2024

Text: Mark 10:2-16

            Marriage is God’s gift to us.  Children are God’s gift to us.  Even to those who are unmarried.  Even to those who do not have children.  Marriage is the primary building block of society.  Stable marriages make for stable societies.  Fruitful marriages make for stable and fruitful societies.  And, in particular, fruitful marriages grounded in Christ and His Word make for stable societies.  Rob society of any of those three things, and you have an unstable society (and I think we know that all too well).  And this is to say, what our Lord here teaches about marriage, about divorce, and about children, applies to every one of us, whatever our vocation and station in life: married, single, widowed… yes, divorced… parents, children, grandparents, grandchildren, and those who don’t have children.  We all have a stake in this.  Satan hates marriage, and Satan hates children… why?  Not only because he doesn’t want us to enjoy stability, or to enjoy anything, really, although that’s true enough.  But because marriage is a picture of Christ and His holy Bride, the Church.  And precisely because marriage is fruitful… children come from marriage, and the ideal context for childrearing is married parents.  He hates chastity, which is to say, sexuality reserved for marriage, celibacy and virginity among the unmarried, and he especially hates virginity because he hates the Virgin Mary and the One born of her.  And he hates children, which is why he deludes us into slaughtering them by the millions, because he hates THE CHILD, our Lord Jesus Christ.  This is why the devil’s attacks so often, and so intensely, involve sexuality and the sanctity of life.  So there is teaching here for every one of us, Law and Gospel.  This afternoon, our Lord teaches us about marriage, about divorce, and about the gift of children.

            God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden, before the fall into sin.  “It is not good that the man should be alone,” He says.  Therefore, “I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18; ESV).  Marriage is God’s design.  Therefore, He determines its parameters and its purpose.  We don’t get to redesign it.  And His purpose is for our good.  We human beings are created for communion.  And in the context of marriage, communion at the most intimate level.  Man and woman, male and female… yes, the sexes are designed by God; our sex is determined by God, not by us… created by God to correspond to one another, to fit together… physically, to be sure, but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually (men and women are different, as it patently obvious to all of us), to complement one another (our differences fill in each other’s gaps).  And in this way, when man and wife live together in love and fidelity, we are given to realize most fully the three purposes for which God gives marriage: Companionship (man is no longer alone), intimacy (on many levels, but in particular, marriage as the only proper context for God’s gift of sex), and procreation (“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it,” steward it [Gen. 1:28], which is still God’s blessing and command, by the way, which is why we should keep having children and not worry about the myth of overpopulation… more on that in another sermon at another time). 

            Jesus takes us back to that primal moment in the Garden in our Holy Gospel.  Adam in a deep sleep.  Eve formed from Adam’s side.  God bringing Eve to Adam, marching her down the aisle, so to speak.  Giving man and wife to one another.  He still does that in the rite of Holy Matrimony.  And Adam’s exclamation: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (2:23).  And then God’s declaration, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (v. 24).  No longer two, Jesus says, but one.  One flesh.  And we know from St. Paul, in Ephesians Chapter 5 (vv. 22-33), that this is all a grand picture, a sacred icon, of the nuptials of Christ and His Church.  Christ, who gave Himself into death for His Bride, that He might sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing of water and the word (Baptism).  The Church, us, submitting to Christ, being clothed by Him in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, holy and without blemish.  Husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.  Wives ought to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ, which is to say, receive the husband’s self-sacrificial providence, protection, and leadership.

            Divorce ruins all of this.  Which is why it is such a big deal to God.  Now, let me say right off the bat to those of you who have been divorced, and those of you affected by divorce (and I don’t believe there is a one of us who hasn’t been affected by divorce on some level).  Divorce is not the unforgiveable sin.  And I’m not picking on you.  Nor am I looking down on you from some high and mighty pulpit where I’m immune from such things.  Quite the contrary.  God loves you.  God forgives you and those you love all your sins, including the sin of divorce.  And if you are still dealing with the fall-out from a divorce, or from your own unrepented sin, or as one who has suffered the sins of an ex-spouse, or somebody else, I urge you to talk with me.  There is healing.  I know this is a sensitive topic, and it is hard to hear for many.  But I think we can agree, can we not, that divorce is always evidence of brokenness, that it is the breaking of God’s design and good will for us, and that it is, therefore, sin.  And Jesus talks about it, here, and so we have to talk about it here, that we may hear the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27).

            Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?  No.  Jesus directs the Pharisees to Moses.  What did Moses command you?  They don’t actually answer that question.  “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away” (Mark 10:4).  Yes, he allowed it, as a provision of Israel’s civil law, but he did not command it.  And the only reason he allowed it is because of Israel’s hardness of heart.  And that is why we have divorce laws today.  Wherever there is divorce, there is a hardness of heart on at least somebody’s part.  What Moses commanded, though, are the words of our Old Testament reading, Genesis 2, which we have from the pen of Moses: The two become one.  And stay one.  Male and female.  Man and wife.  That is God’s design.  Therefore, Jesus says, “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9). 

            We should say, here, that there are two reasons why a Christian may, biblically, seek a divorce.  The first is adultery.  The spouse who did not commit adultery may seek a divorce from the one who did (the one who did, by the way, must not… it’s up to the one sinned against).  Jesus gives us this exception in Matthew 19, which is Matthew’s version of our Holy Gospel today.  The second is what we call malicious desertion.  That is, when one spouse leaves, the deserted spouse may obtain a divorce.  St. Paul addresses this in 1 Cor. 7.  Now, I say may.  It is never the case that someone must seek a divorce, and it is always better when the marriage can be reconciled.  And it often can, I’ve seen it.  But understand, even under these exceptions, divorce is always brokenness, and so we must pray and work against it.

            That’s why, if you are experiencing troubles in your marriage, you should come talk to your pastor right away, before it’s too late.  I have worked with many couples.  I’ve been privileged to witness miraculous reconciliations.  Now, I’ve also encountered the hardness of heart Jesus talks about.  There have been times I’m sitting there with a couple, and it strikes me that I’m the only one in the room (aside from our Lord Jesus and His holy angels) who wants to save the marriage.  Christ have mercy.  (He does.)  But you know what the answer is, to the conflict in every one of those cases?  Repentance.  Starting with honest self-examination.  Not blaming the other person, but taking one’s own responsibility for one’s own wrongs (most often, there really is no innocent party in marital conflict… If you’re a husband or wife, even in a healthy marriage, you know that.  We’re really good at sinning against each other).  Confession.  To God.  To one another.  And Absolution.  The forgiveness of all your sins for the sake of Jesus Christ, who died for you, and who is risen for you, and who loves you.  Absolution from God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Mutual Absolution between spouses.  I’ve seen it.  There is nothing more healing. 

            Well, we can’t end without saying something about children.  You know the story well.  People (probably the parents) are bringing children to Jesus, that He might touch them, which is to say, bless them.  The disciples rebuke them.  “Our Master is far too important to be bothered by your dirty, snotty, smelly, noisy kids.”  Oh, those disciples are so dense.  And it earns them our Lord’s indignation.  “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14).  Beloved, bring your children to Jesus.  Bring the children of others to Jesus.  Do not hinder them.  Bring your children to Baptism.  If the Kingdom of God belongs to them, then you can be sure they believe and receive the benefits of Baptism.  Encourage others to bring their children to Baptism.  Bring your to Church.  Teach them to participate.  Bring them to Sunday School.  Teach them about Jesus.  Read them the Bible stories.  Pray for them.  Pray with them.  Raise them in the faith.  Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).  You know what to do.  Receive the children in His Name.  Jesus loves the children.  Your children.  The children of this Church.  Don’t you dare deny them access to Him.  Don’t you dare suggest they don’t belong here.  Jesus will have words for you like He had for His disciples.  But take great comfort in that.  First, because you know He loves your kids even more than you do.  Second, because if He loves the dirty, the snotty, the smelly, and the noisy, well… He loves you.  And you become as a child in His presence, thus receiving His help and salvation, His Kingdom.

            Jesus is the Faithful Spouse.  He will never leave you or forsake you (Heb. 13:5).  He will not fail you.  He forgives your unfaithfulness.  He heals your brokenness.  He alone can heal our marriages and our society.  He loves us.  He loves the children.  All the way to the cross and back.  And so He pours out His gifts.  All thanks and praise be to Him, our loving Bridegroom.  In the Name of the Father, and of the Son X, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.